apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
