Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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