I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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