You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
