it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
