when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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