..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
