A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
