So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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