I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
