D3 body, D1 cock
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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