Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
