I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
