just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
