So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
