my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
