we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
