Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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