on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
