Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize