I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
