If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
