just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
