This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
