yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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