it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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