I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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