cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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