lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We have started to decorate penises.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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