my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
