Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
