Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
