Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
