your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
