It's like God shit irony all over that family
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
i think i just lost a toe
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
