You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
