youre lurking in front of me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
