So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize