I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize