Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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