Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
