so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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