Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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