dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
50% drunk capacity currently
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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