I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
