I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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