I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it glows. i had to have it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
