Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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