dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
this boner is exhausting
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
