We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
