you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
