C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize