there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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