Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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