There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize