Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
