i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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