Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
