Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
