thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize