I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
