; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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