Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
