Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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