STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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